First Romance

The romance I've desired
The fire I've encompassed
The dreams I've engendered
They've lingered on
Held me sturdy between the fables

The love I've looked for
The many doors held open
The countless hours keeping me at bay
The nights I laid awake
Kept me peaceful between the novels

The needs I've wanted to fill
The coffers I wanted to spill over
The yearning I've penned over before
The heavy breathing sessions on the floor
Guided me through a new terrain

The rain that fell
The demise that was
The agony of heartache
And the reality of a broken heart
Taught me lessons through many hands

The love of the past
The pain that has lasted
In search for new avenues
That will somehow appear
Over the summers, I searched for it

Tomorrow I take new land
Overcome the abhorrance
Overcome the insurgency of my own heart
That separated me from the parts-
The parts of love that I missed

The greater bliss of uncertainity
The greater test of identity
The greater need of compassion
The greatest love of myself
The greatest romance to ever occur

Miles after a broken heart

I know you've given it all
That you can no longer open up
To do so would prolong the pain
To do so would harden the harbor

1000 miles for a shot of dignity
100 miles for some respect
10 miles apart
But weekends filled up her time
Destroyed your peace, your comfortable life

I know you gave it all
That you could no longer trust again
To do so would prolong the pain
To do so would harden the harbor

1000 miles for a shot of love
100 miles for some kindness
10 miles and a right turn
But weeks filled up her time
Put her at ease, but left you dismantled

I know you hoped it would come
That you could no longer look after this
To do so would end the searching
To do so would give you understanding

1000 miles for a shot at a fairytale
100 miles for some peace
10 miles and a left turn
But months went by, and she left you
Killed your spirit, broke your heart

I know you wished it were different
That you could escape the distance
To do so would erase the sacrifice
To do so would end the agony

1000 miles for a new life
100 miles to forget the strife
10 miles to come knocking on my door
Cause miles after your broken heart
I'll be here

To the Wolves

The hanging of the telephone
Your sounds hardly convinced me
And the tears came under my breath
It was the breadth of this knowledge
That would send me to the pillow smashing
Tempers flairing, and fevers rising
The terror you almost unleashed
To feed her to the wolves
To take my oath elsewhere

In anguish and grief
The "I" statements lost themselves
Its not me that needs help
Its what I wanted, what we both felt
It was my promise, your need
And another opportunity lost
For terrority already charted upon
Feed your hungry in the streets alone

I won't wait for the turning point
For your truth, another epiphany
That the day for reality will come to you
If you could only see where you're headed back
On the back of my bones, cracking each one
I once told you they were delicate
Each one protected, with its own shell
Now you're doing the same
But I won't play 'the game'

The "I"s will come back
Cause tonight was another excuse
Another abuse in the name of harboring
The cradling of your heart
But will you stitch mine up?
It was a mistake in the pursuit of lust
Lost, because you're scared of this love

The Deck

The storybook tale never fails to heighten my dreams
As I've foreseen so much from the texts
Blessed with fantasy and imagination
Graced with the right words to say
I've played the cards right tonight

But the ending isn't so clear cut
The wonderment about life and love
Its breaking down, piece by piece
The elements have become vague
The hand I've dealt has become too frightening

And I hold the deck between my fingers
I linger on the Aces
Play the faces of each Queen and King
I've tried to rise above each number
To tumble and fall

I call you in the wee hour
To the fear of tomorrow
You can't hold me for forever
But my digits will strengthen
And my fingers will be my own

And your deck shows a full house
Which, my heart can't inhabit
But the ace is yours to keep
That's what you need right now
Its the peace we know now
The friendship we exercise

Again

Here I am once again
Wishing for your hand
Hoping I'd land safely
I was warned to brace myself
But I jumped too soon with you

Here we are once again
Seeing you in a different light
Under the covers of our eyes
And in that moment
I was grateful to be alive

Here you are once again
Surveying the area
Daring to hold back
For everything you lack
You asked how, but never when

7am

Tracing the times I've pondered
Wondered where the times went
Spent lying in bed
Forgetting thinking of all the things I've read
Trying to forget everything you said

What has lead me to here?
Was it me waiting?
Or me just wanting you near?
The fears come and manifest
Distract me from my own rest

Another ring to pass through
Who knew it would resurface
Pushing through to you
My desire lost itself there
Tumbling and pulling till tomorrow

But the sorrow leaves for only a moment
Brief in the breathes
A feeling that kept me off balance
The talents come through, only now
What have I found?

Life stands still
Looking for something to fill
Beyond a picture or a pill
Further on down
The sounds remind me where I am

My weapon of choice
Sometimes, lacks its own voice
It creeps in and pens me away
I'd rather live for now and today
then escape for tomorrow

It ebbs and flows
Showing itself when it feels the need
I barely recognize the feeling anymore
Sore, but you can't see
A need greater than you'd understand

Tracing the times I've pondered
I wonder why am I still awake
Taking it all in my head
Its 7am
And I've finally reached the bed